8 hours & a lunch

stop bugging me!

everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.- carl jung

checking out 'speaking of the mbti', i ran across that quote from carl jung.  and you know?  it's true.  it makes me crazy that it's true.  i don't exactly love that it's true.  but it is.  you know that person in the next cube who has been driving you absolutely insane?  you know, the one who is too terribly particular about things.  the one who talks too loud (and too much).  the one who just doesn't get it.  that person, it turns out, can teach you a whole lot about yourself. 

too often for my liking, the things you can't stand in others tend to be things you really can't stand about yourself.  sure.  sometimes there are other lessons, like learning patience or tolerance.  (maybe that person in the next cube really doesn't get it.  and maybe you do.  that is entirely possible.)

but just like difficult times are usually what propel us to growth and change, people who get on our every last living nerve tend to teach us more about ourselves than those who don't.  this, of course, depends on us paying attention to those lessons though.  we've got to be aware, and think about these things before just automatically making it all about the other person.

so who's bugging you today?

all the best!

deb

jerry white - i will not be broken

there's a must-read interview with jerry white on guy kawasaki's how to change the world blog today that he is calling "the art of survival."

jerry white co-founded survivor corps, an organization was a co-recipient of the nobel peace prize that has "broadened its mission from helping victims of landmines to helping all those who have suffered from global conflict and its lasting effects." jerry himself lost a leg in israel in 1984 due to a landmine.

i began to look for my "favorite snippet" in the interview, but the whole interview is worth the few minutes to read. it's a great perspective with applications many of us could use in multiple areas of our daily lives.
check it out.

all the best!
deb

so you wanna be a rockstar?

over at the OSP forum for photographers, photographers jokingly get put into categories such as 'rockstars' and 'groupies'. (most are self-identified as groupies or wanna-be's, and so on.) in real life, someone recently admitted to me that they were interested in starting a business partially due to satisfying their ego. and of course, there is much discussion going on surrounding the ego due to oprah's current online course with eckhart tolle. we don't see only see ego-driven ambition in those starting businesses either. it can be found in the corporate world as employees jockey for position and hope to eventually get that top spot with the corner office. so....what's wrong with wanting to be a rockstar?

we've all watched those on reality TV who are obviously there to push their brand, to use the opportunity to be on TV to become known and hopefully more successful. (i'm thinking of that woman who was on the apprentice and a couple of other shows. her name starts with an 'o' but i can't remember it for the life of me! ha!) in the end, their ego might get them somewhere for a brief moment. but it also seems to land them right where they didn't want to be. (omarosa! that's it! see? she ended up being very unpopular and unlikeable!) there often seems to be little substance behind the style with these individuals, and there most definitely does not seem to be much longevity to their careers.

but what about those who work hard, determined to be the best at what they do? you know, those people who are passionate about what they do? those who become 'rockstars' somewhat organically? they're still out there promoting themselves. (you have to!) but it's different somehow. it seems that their success, and even their self-promotion, comes from a different place. and we can all see it. they're usually clearly good at what they do. often, these same people can be refreshing in recognizing and admitting, with some humility, that ego is a part of what drives them. the question is, did a part of them want to be a rockstar too?

perhaps the problem isn't wanting to be a rockstar, but why someone wants it. ultimately, it's important now and again to check in and think about what it is that's driving us, and making sure we're taking actions that are in line with our priorities

what are your thoughts on wanting to be a rockstar?

all the best!
deb

randy pausch, the last lecture, and six months and counting

if you've not yet watched the inspiring "last lecture" by randy pausch that began circulating last september, scroll down and find it on the left sidebar under "speeches" and watch it now. pausch has now written a book to delve deeper into the points made during his lecture. details about the book, the video of the lecture, and other resources can now be found at his website. (also, diane sawyer interviews pausch tonight on abc.)

the good news is that when pausch took the stage for his last lecture, he started his speech by announcing that he had six months to live. he's just past the six month mark. he gives regular updates on his battle with cancer here.

all the best!
deb

change can be kinda funky

all changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~anatole france

for those of you new to this blog, i recently moved out of the corporate world. i have not been happier in i don’t know how long. the freedom i feel, the excitement of possibility, the people i’ve already met and things i’ve already learned are amazing. (and fun!)

naturally, there is a flip side to all of this. when a person makes a major change in life, a few things tend to go along with it that may be unexpected.

1) your relationships will change

you’re changing. whether it’s a career change, a move to a new city or making difficult decisions that are right for you but others don’t understand, your environment and what you do, where you go, who you meet will be different. you’ll become stronger, bolder, less unsure of yourself. you’ll get your sense of humor back or lose the biting sarcasm. major life changes affect how you view and interact with the world and those in it, so your relationships will shift. some will deepen and become richer and even more important. some won’t. some people won’t be able to move forward with you, and you’ll have to move on. that’s okay. other relationships will come into your life that will support you in where you’re trying to go. give it time.

moving forward & letting go

"finish each day and be done with it. you have done what you could. some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. tomorrow is a new day and you shall begin it well and serenely." --ralph waldo emerson

friday is my last day in my HR job. everything was going swimmingly. (who actually says 'swimmingly'?) plans for my future were rolling right along. friendships seem to be deepening. my support system is firmly in place as i begin a huge transition. and i felt ready. just....ready.

and then, as all seemed to be going so well, i began to feel bitter-sweet about leaving this current role. mostly, it was about the people i would be leaving.

and then today, just as often happens with young adults and parents who actually need angst in their relationship in order to let go, a couple of people apparently subconsciously decided to remind me why i'm so happy to be leaving. drama, sudden chaos, and reminders that all that bob sutton writes about those jerks who are often tolerated because 'they get things done' while having massive long-term negative impacts on an organization and the people around them were all around.

photo credit: butch adams/balanced being yoga

finding your voice

"the fault, dear brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings,” - shakespeare, julius caesar

via keith ferrazzi's never eat alone blog, i ran across this little gem. inspired by hillary clinton's show of emotion in new hampshire and comment after the primary that she'd 'found her voice', agapi stassinopulos writes a post on how to find your own. her points are all things i've found to be true myself. it seems that when we realize that we all have a story to tell, and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, when we are genuine and not what we think others expect us to be, we truly find our voice -- and connection with others.

enjoy!
all the best!
deb

what do you do when opportunity knocks?

we must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success. - thoreau

sometimes things happen to us. things out of our control happen to us. and some people believe that life sometimes happens to us, pulling us in directions we never intended. this can lead to men (and women) doing what thoreau said was, "living a life of quiet desperation." how do you know if you're living a life of quiet desperation? well, christine kane has a list of behaviors that could indicate that you're not living a life by design.

it is true. sometimes life throws us curve balls. but that's where our choice comes in. how do you choose to view this unexpected event? and what actions do you take next? maybe that guy asks you to marry him. maybe you're not ready to get married, but you say yes because you're not ready to be alone either. years later, you might bemoan the fact that your marriage isn't what you thought it'd be. but your intent to not be alone was stronger than your desire to marry the right guy for you. you said yes. you said yes out of fear. but you said yes. you made a choice.

anticipation

i don't care what it is you're waiting on -- the job offer, the first kiss, the curtain to go up as you go on stage, the baby's delivery, news from loved ones overseas -- there comes a moment where it just gets frustrating. now, it's just waiting. and being unsure of an outcome or the timing of an event leads to a loss of that fabulous anticipation tinged with excitement and hope. the excitement and hope turns to uncertainty. and then, you're just waiting. you do what you can while you wait. you clean out the attic. you clean out the garage. you take another class. you go on another date (maybe with someone else). you go on another interview. you work out. you pore over every moment with friends. you pray. you tell yourself all those things you know you're supposed to live by. you know, those things like, "whatever is supposed to happen will happen." or, "if not this opportunity, then a better one will come along."

but you *feel* ready now.
but there you are. anticipation is wonderful. but eventually, it just becomes waiting.
and as tom petty said, the waiting is the hardest part.

all the best!
deb

skill vs. luck

i’ve been telling people that i want to learn more about photography, as i’d like it to become more a matter of skill than luck. then i was told that a local photography guru says that one should not chalk a good shot up to luck. he says that ‘you were there, with a camera, ready to shoot at the right time, and are the only one who could have gotten that shot at that moment. and you capture a shot that only you can capture.”

i like that sentiment.

still, you can’t discount skill. if you rush to get the shot, but don’t know how to take your lens cap off, you’re probably sunk. the same with making adjustments to lighting, focus, etc. then again, sometimes those ‘mistakes’ turn out to be shots that you would never have dreamed up on your own. you couldn’t have made it happen. but you were there, camera settings wrong, and you get it anyway.

they say, whoever “they” are, that luck is preparation meeting opportunity. so i’m practicing, and i’m improving. one way i know this is that i have to take fewer shots overall to get some good ones. there’s a lot more to learn though, and i intend to do just that. i’m looking to develop the ability to walk into a room and recognize what adjustments you’ll need to be made due to the lighting of the area, so that i’m more likely to capture a great moment than when i’m guessing and shooting and guessing and shooting. i’ll keep working at it. because i find that the more your skill level increases, the greater your luck seems to become. you’re more prepared when the moment arises to step up, take the risk and get it right.

sure. luck can happen without skill. it can happen that you just point and shoot and have no idea what you’re doing and get a fantastic shot. there are those moments that are inexplicable. they just seem to happen. where all the elements converge and you’ve got a different angle than people normally take and you shoot it just right. those moments seem like pure magic. but then comes the hard part: repeat it. go ahead. try to repeat that. see how long it takes for that to happen again.

i find the more i learn, the more i experience those moments where something unexplainable comes together with knowledge and skill to create something special. and in the end, that’s what i’m really looking for – when increased skill leads to increased luck and creativity seems to spark.

then again, who can explain the role creativity plays in all this and how *that* happens?
;-)

all the best!
deb

p.s. i have a feeling that this post reflects the kind of brain-muck i've been experiencing all day today. but here goes anyway. ;-)