8 hours & a lunch

anything is possible, everything is not

Anything is possible.

I believe it.  Do you?  

Anything is possible.  Look around at the accomplishments and achievements of others.  We can all think of examples of people who came from humble circumstances to achieve greatness.

 It might take work.  It might take time.  Things don't happen magically and they don't happen overnight.  But anything is possible.

Everything, though, is not.  

As I work with clients in keeping their edge in their lives and businesses, one of the biggest problems I see is fear of making a choice.  People are often afraid to make a decision. 

We're afraid that once we make a decision, we're stuck there for life.  We put so much pressure on making the right decision that we don't decide at all.  

Think of a river.  It simply flows.   It can be powerful and dangerous or it can be smooth and tranquil.  But it flows, and moves forward naturally.  When we know what our goals are and what direction we want our life and our businesses to head in, it's much like that river.  

That river has banks.  It has boundaries.  Without them, the river would have no direction at all.  It wouldn't even be a river.  It would be a pool of water running off in many directions until it dispersed so far that it no longer existed.

The choices and decisions we make are like the banks of the river.  It's what gives us direction.  And just like a river might have a bend or two, we can change those decisions later as circumstances change or as we gain more information.

Everything is not possible, but anything is.  It starts by making the decision.

All the best!

deb  

P.S.  Help me celebrate the launch of Work Her Way

P.P.S  Give 10.  Pay it forward & pass it on.  Help thousands of kids today.  (Thanks to all of those who have been so generous this far.  Let's keep it going!  With everyone pulling together and doing their small part, we can get this thing done!)

getting it all done (& why it's not happening)

The holidays will be here before we know it and I’m amazed at the stress and worry I’m already hearing.  It’s not new stress though.  I hear it all the time.  People talk about work/life balance and wonder if they’re doing too much and not doing any of it well.  At the same time, they ask how they can get even more done with the same 24 hours they had before.

Don’t Wait for ROWE to Come to Your Town

This is one of the major issues addressed by Maria Shriver’s “A Woman’s Nation” report in which she calls for policy changes in government and asks companies to create solutions that fit the modern family model.  

But you have this problem today.  And if I were you, I wouldn’t wait for the government to do it or for my company to go gung-ho for ROWE. 

What is ROWE?  It’s a Results-Oriented Work Environment that has been adopted by companies such as Best Buy.  With ROWE, employees are held accountable for the results they achieve, rather than the amount of time they put in in the office.  

That sounds great, but despite reports that tell us that the majority of employees actually spend only about 75% of their time at work actually working, as a society, we still have the time-for-money model ingrained in us.  

Case in point:  In working with a business-owner with a 12-year old $75 million company, he was speaking about one employee in particular.  His statement was, “She’s a good employee.  She works a lot of hours.”  He couldn’t point to the value she added or the results she achieved, he could only point to ‘she works a lot of hours.’  

Productivity, Streamlining, the Latest Tips & Tricks

Yes.  You can try the latest productivity tips and tricks.  You can put together another to-do list.  You can keep that Blackberry or iPhone calendar running hot and heavy.  You can even applying standardization and streamlining tactics from the business world to your life.  

That might sound boring, but so is laundry.  And when was the last time you had to do an emergency load of laundry because your kid’s soccer game crept up on you?  Or ran through the fast-food joint because things  came up and you suddenly were crushed for time?

These things can help, but it’s not where you start handling your problem with getting it all done.

Where Do You Really Spend Your Time?

Name your top 3 priorities in your life.  Then ask yourself, how much time did you spend on those priorities last week?  Not much?  

Then ask yourself if those are truly your top 3 priorities.  Get honest with yourself.  And get specific.  If you say your family is your top priority, but you spend every week on the road so you can keep that job making the kind of money you’re making, is providing for your family the top priority?  Or spending time with the kids?  (If your real priority is providing for the family and that job is the best way for you to do that, then give up the guilt.  You’re doing exactly what you’ve set out to do.)

Once you’re truly clear, that’s where you start.  

Create Your Own Path

Don’t let what is important to you pass you by because you waited for someone else to come up with a solution for you.  Create your own path.

When you are putting together your schedule or your to-do list, start with your priorities.  Actually schedule them in, and schedule them in first.  

Learn when to say no, and what you can give up.  Begin to look for solutions that work around what’s truly important to you, rather than trying to cram what’s important to you into the spare 5 minutes you have each day.  

You can’t do it all.  But you can define for yourself what is truly most important, begin there, and create your own path to a more fulfilling life.

All the best!

deb

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saying no is a key to finding balance

i thought i'd share a couple of recent posts from a couple of blogs i love.  both of these talented, stellar women wrote about 'saying no' within 24 hours of each other.  (is the universe trying to tell me something?  hmmmm)  

tonight, i'm up late editing photos.  i'm up late editing because i said yes to something earlier that i knew would result in my working into the wee hours of the morning.  here's the thing.  that works sometimes.  i could have said no.  but i had to think about balance.  i had to think about what i needed and what worked for me most.  (and yes.  i had to think about whether to stay up and work late, and then sleep late.  or sleep now and get up early.  i'm not someone who likes to get up early if i can help.  so here i am.  ha)   

okay.  yes.  the choice was between seeing friends, being social, nourishing relationships -- and editing photos.  the thing is, i wouldn't have this current opportunity that lies before me if it weren't for one of those friends.  and, something big happened in another friend's life.  one of the reasons i'm doing what i'm doing now is that my corporate gig took so much effort, had me so stressed, took so much out of me, that my relationships suffered dramatically.  that's something that is important to me.  also, given what it's like working "on your own" and the loss of that daily automatic social contact that comes from going to an office every day, it's even more important to me that i maintain balance and make sure that i'm doing what helps me find fulfillment in that area of my life.  my friendships matter to me.  so does building this new way of life.  what worked for me today was to make the choice to go see them, and work late.  on another day, the answer might be different.  the answer might be to say no to them, finishing the editing, and catching up with them later.  

so i refer you to these two posts:

1)  susan hyatt at ideal life design says 'no seems to be the hardest word'.  naturally, i love that she asks me to check my iPhone.  (because she's writing to *me*, right?  and it's about *my* iPhone, right?  ha)  my favorite part of her post is her advice that 'no is a complete sentence.'  so often we don't say no just because we don't feel like we have a good enough reason.  but our reason is good enough.  and we really do not have to explain everything to everyone.  practice tactful, but strong, ways to say no without divulging everything. 

2)  christine kane talks about 'zen and the art of saying no'.  i love christine's story in this post.  i can get so lost in all the possibilities, that i have to frequently remind myself to stay focused on my intention and what i'm trying to do here.  christine goes further, giving you key questions to ask yourself in determining whether the thing you're considering might be something to say 'no' to.  key questions like 'what is my intention' and 'and am i acting out of fear or love'.

what do you need to say 'no' to today?

all the best!

deb

do what works for you

there is a lot of advice out there.  advice on how to lose weight, how to find the person of your dreams, how to build a career, how to start a business, how to be successful.  as readers of this blog know, i'm not exactly one to hold back on the opinions or advice either.  but in the end, you have to suss through all that information, all that advice, and do what works for you.

i know, i know.  just yesterday i was telling you to take some action in order to move on from procrastination.  and i'm a big believer in that.  but what action is right for you might not be right for me.  sometimes, when fear and procrastination hit, the right thing for me to do might still look like procrastination to someone else.  why?  well, sometimes the thing i need to do is to clean my house.  i can't think straight when my house is in disarray.  sometimes, if i'm feeling that anxiety (if we're honest, that's what it is, right?) that's causing me to put off taking action, i need to work out.  why?  because working out makes me feel good, it makes me feel strong.  it gives me a sense of accomplishment.  (if you knew how much weight i'd lost and how much better shape i'm in right now, feeling a sense of accomplishment would make sense to you.  ;-) )  and when i need it, i can do yoga and feel calm and centered.  i can breathe.

first though, i have to know what works for me.  and you have to know what works for you.  you will find a lot of different advice out there because a lot of different things have worked for a lot of different people.  and seeking out options from those willing to share their experiences and how they got where they are is a great idea.  try what they suggest.  but don't force yourself to do what doesn't work for you just because it worked for someone else.  keep looking.  use the advice as guide to find your own way.  and then do what works for you.

all the best!

deb

p.s.  the woman in the photo is seane corn, yoga instructor, for those who may be interested in checking out her work.

i'll get to it later (fear and procrastination in your life & career)

"we don't get to the light through endless investigation of the darkness" - marianne williamson

making changes in your life and/or career can be difficult, right?  we all know this.  if it was easy, we wouldn't be making the same new year's resolutions year after year after year.  one demon we all seem to wrestle with at one time or another is procrastination.  if we've been doing our homework, we know that procrastination is rooted in some level of fear.  the truth is we're comfortable where we are.  on some level, where we are works for us.   maybe the added weight is keeping you from getting out and dating, but maybe that's exactly why you've not done anything about it yet.  maybe you're finally working towards your dream of starting a business, but suddenly you can find any number of things that need to be done rather than getting out there and finding clients.  (laundry is an excellent tool for this if you're working from a home office.  trust me.)  or maybe there really is just so much to do that you aren't entirely sure where to start.  you're feeling a little overwhelmed.

there's plenty of advice out there for how to get past this.  many of them suggest organizational tools like making lists.  that's great advice.  break that big project down into smaller pieces, and feel that sense of accomplishment as you cross tasks off your to-do list.  of course, that only works unless you're like me.  

if you're like me, you can use 'getting organized' to procrastinate as much as anything else.  you can break the project down into achievable pieces.  but then, you feel like you got something done by organizing.  or, you tell yourself you need to back up and do more research before you can actually get to that item you put on your task list to begin with.  or you start to look at a project and decide it isn't "perfect enough" to put out there yet.  

sometimes, for me, just stepping out and taking action seems to be the only way out of all this.  i may not get the answer i want.  but just getting out and doing something breaks the cycle of fear and inertia and a momentum starts.  i'm not suggesting that taking haphazard actions on a regular basis is the thing to do.  but let's say you want to start losing weight.  you can tell yourself that you need to find a nutritionist, join a gym, start taking a yoga class.  you can tell yourself you need to go shop for healthy foods to make at home.  you can put together a whole entire plan.  and you could still be sitting exactly where you are.  you have a vision for how you want your body to look, how much weight you want to lose.  you've come up with a plan.  but you need to do laundry.  you can (and probably should) examine what it is that's holding you back.  but then that becomes another reason not to get started.  ("i'll start my weight loss plan after i've gone through some therapy and figured out why i'm at this place to begin with.")  you could do all this pre-planning and organization.

or.....you could take a walk.

no, taking a walk won't solve all your woes.  yes, there will be stuff to deal with.  but getting up and getting moving one day, and then the next day, and then the next day, will get the momentum going.  you'll find yourselves making small wins that build on each other.  

i once read something marianne williamson wrote.  i can't find the actual quote at the moment.  but it went something like:  

you might be sitting in the dark.  you might analyze the dark.  you might even understand why it's dark.  but you're still sitting in the dark.  until you get up and turn on the light, you'll still be sitting in the dark.

what small actions can you take today to get started?

all the best!

deb

personal inventories and integrity

"to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." - shakespeare

this new stage and journey in my life, along with talking about personal inventories, has me thinking about a lot of things. in one relationship in my life, i'm facing what i believe to be an issue of integrity. integrity has an impact on everything we do, even our businesses. if people don't trust you, it takes longer for business deals to get done. it takes longer for transactions to take place. (or people might not do business with you at all.)

so what is integrity? miriam-webster defines it this way:
1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility
2 : an unimpaired condition : soundness
3 : the quality or state of being complete or undivided

i like the simple, basic definition of "doing what you say you will do."

we're all human. and we're not always perfect at this. but integrity begins at home. without going so far as to indulge in incessant navel-gazing, there must be some self-examination. you've got to know who you are, what you value, where you want to go, and what you are (and are not) willing to do. sometimes, this may lead to some difficult decisions -- like what to let go of. but in the end, if you're not being honest with yourself, you can't be truly honest with others.

all the best!
deb

strengths, weaknesses, definitions - oh my!

at finding what matters, carolyn kepcher writes about personal inventories being good for your business. long-time readers of this blog know i'm a big fan of the work of marcus buckingham. (check out oprah's site for videos of marcus walking people through 'putting your strengths to work'.) sure. call it a positive-psychology movement if you want. but there's something that carolyn and marcus are onto that's been leading people to success for ages. in fact, one can go all the way back to the greek's to hear this absolute truth -- "know thyself".

once you know yourself, it's time to go beyond yourself. it's time to understand others and what they're good at. and then, it's time to put together teams. that's what good managers do. they piece together the strengths of each member of the team so that each person is using their more natural abilities to build a stronger whole.

this is true with entrepreneurs as well. it's sad, but true. we're all going to have to do things we're not great at sometimes. and we're all going to have to do things we don't like. but finding other people who can help you, putting together your own personal team, is key to success. it also brings an added benefit of helping the other business. as the saying goes, "when the water level rises, all boats rise." so what types of things are we talking about? i know an attorney who hates billing and collections. if she'd spend a little to get another consultant who is good at those things to do those things for her, she'd have more income and she'd be spending her time on what she's good at -- the client side, the legal side. and that consultant would be doing a little better too! personally, nothing motivates me like a little accountability. (i absolutely hate having to say 'no. i didn't do that.') so i've hired a consultant who does that for me. as we met tonight, the reminder was, "remember to leave a little 'deb-time'." because sometimes i get so excited about what i'm doing that i need that reminder too. they help me stay on track. they help me in any number of ways. but i first had to know that this was something i'd need to help me be successful.

but there's more self-exploration to be done. not only do you need to know what your strengths are, you need to know what your definition of success is. is it having the freedom to set your own schedule? is it contributing to a team? is it money? is it knowing your work helps clients you actually like reach their goals? is it contribution? is it having time for family and friends?

these questions aren't just for entrepreneurs. if you're in a corporate environment, you might think you want to be the ceo one day. then again, your definition of success might be having truly deep, meaningful relationships with your family and friends. that requires time, my friend. the requirements of that corner office may not match what truly matters in your life. no matter how good you believe the view looks from that office. you've got to define what a successful life, and a successful business or career, means to you. this will help guide you in where to invest your time, your money, and your life.

so how do you define success?
all the best!
deb