8 hours & a lunch

new year, new you (resolutions: have you started yet?)

It's day six in the New Year (and new decade), did you make any resolutions?  Have you started yet?  How are you doing with them?  

I'm not generally a big fan of New Year's resolutions.  I believe that any day is a good day to make the changes you want in your life or your business.  But for me, this year seemed like a good year to set a few.  

Most of us look at the New Year and make goals to lose weight, quit smoking, make more money, save more money, and so on.  Did you prepare heading into day one?  Did you have a plan?  I hope you did.  And if you did, I hope you didn't go for the 4-hour work-week myth or plan to lose 40 pounds in 7 days (unless you're these guys maybe) or look for that single million dollar contract to hit in the first 6 days.  (Although, the latter could happen if you were working on closing that deal in December.)

Be Bold

A while back, I started working with a personal trainer.  I'd been working out on my own for a few months and thought I was in pretty good shape at the time.  I had no idea.  I was not prepared for what he put me through the first couple of weeks.  I was in pain.  He kept telling me to push through for the first two weeks, and that I'd be amazed what would happen.

He was right.  The first two weeks were painful.  They were brutal.  They were hard.  I didn't want to work out.  I would whine, until the trainer would remind me that there was no whining in his gym.  He left room for absolutely no slack at all.  I had to fight through those first two weeks, and then something happened.  It got easier.  The workouts didn't seem so hard.  (Of course, this meant the trainer increased the intensity, but you get my drift.)

Forget the small steps.  Go big!  Of course, whatever it is you're doing, you don't want to injure yourself.  But too often we use 'good advice' as simply another excuse.  Get the support you need, get your plan in place and then go for the drastic change.  

No.  It Will Not Be Pretty or Happen Overnight.

If it's about your health or a starting your new business plan you're putting in place or handling your money differently, it's going to feel weird for a while.  There's just no getting around it.  

Change requires being uncomfortable.  But hit it hard, stay aware and focused, make conscious, disciplined choices and you'll be surprised how quickly the change becomes your 'new normal'.  

That doesn't happen overnight, especially with some of our larger goals, but you'll be surprised how quickly things can improve. 

Really.  Think about it.

Where do You Want to Be at the End of January?

Where do you want to be at the end of the month?  It will be here before you know it.  And if you have any friends who have made similar goals, how are you going to feel watching them as they move forward and you're still thinking it through or trying to find the motivation or being too busy to get around to doing whatever it is you want to do?

Don't waste time just get to work.  It's not about whether you feel like working out today, it's about your health and how you want to look and feel when Valentine's Day rolls around.  It's not about whether you feel like making those cold calls today, it's about where those cold calls will get you three months from now.  

I have friends who have a similar goal for the year as mine -- to move.  (Yes.  You're right.  That is a pretty big goal.)  They're already taking steps to do just that.  I could take steps to move in that direction as well.  Or I could do the same things I did last year and then wonder what happened after I throw them a going-away party and watch them drive off into the sunset.

Guess which one I'm leaning towards.  

Want Different Results?  Now is the Time to Do Something Different.

You are capable of making major changes in your life and your business and building the future you dream of.  (You did set your goals or do a vision board or go through an exercise of 'beginning with the end in mind', didn't you?)  

But if you do the same things you did in 2009, you'll find yourself letting this year slip away and the first year of a new decade will end as last year did. 

If you haven't already, go big for the rest of this month.

If you're already on day six of making drastic changes to reach your goals, good for you! Keep it up!

You'll be surprised where you find yourself at the end of this month, and you'll be amazed at how easy it all seems just a few weeks from now.

All the best!

deb 

valuing your own talent

 This past weekend, I had the privilege of singing with a chorus performing with the Royal Philharmonic on their Star Wars in Concert tour.  I was thrilled at the opportunity to sing with the Royal Philharmonic, but being a Star Wars fan made this doubly fun.  Of course, I had to tell a few friends.  Then I noticed something.  I noticed a couple of things actually.

It's Really No Big Deal

I found myself explaining away the fact that I was singing.  I explained that I happened to know the conductor who was called to put together a chorus.  I explained that it was 'just a chorus'.  I explained that it was only a couple of numbers.  No big deal, really.  

But as I was explaining all this away, one friend stopped me and said, "Waitaminute!  You're a photographer and you can sing?"  That stopped me in my tracks. Um.  Well.  Yeah.  I didn't think that was all that impressive.  No big deal, really.

And then my friend, Michele Woodward, sent me a message that said, "I , of course, love to sing but few love to hear me. Ergo, I would likely be assigned tambourine. With the metal plates removed. "  (You gotta love Michele.)

It's Easy

Too often, we undervalue our talents.  We devalue them precisely because they are talents.  Our talent comes naturally to us.  It takes discipline, practice, and hard work to develop our talents.  But even that usually doesn't feel like work as we play to our strengths and do what we enjoy doing.  And we forget that something that comes more naturally to us does not come as naturally to others.  So we downplay it and say things like, "It's no big deal."

Compare & Contrast

What's worse is that even when we do recognize our talents, we downplay them because we get busy comparing ourselves to others. 

But we all have this tendency at some point, don't we?  I'm a business owner, but my business isn't as successful as that one.  (Yes.  Owning a business takes certain talents.) I'm a photographer, but I'm not as good as that other photographer.  I'm a writer, but I don't write as well as that guy.  

If You Don't Claim It, No One Else Will Believe It

I'm not advocating getting puffed up with ego.  But you do get to claim your talent.   I wasn't the best singer in the chorus.  And watching the Royal Philharmonic and their illustrious conductor, I can guarantee you I didn't come close to being the best musician on that stage.  That doesn't mean I can't sing.  It might not mean I'm going to run off and try to start a musical career.  But that doesn't mean I can't call myself a singer and a musician.    

Besides, if you're working with your strengths and your talents, you're probably better now than you were when you first started.  You'll keep working, and you'll get even better in the future.  But in the meantime, what are your talents?  Do you recognize them and claim them?  Do you value them and use them to guide you into the doing the work you're best at doing?

Take a few minutes and acknowledge your talents today, and then see where you can develop them even further -- and where that might lead you.

All the best!

deb

(Photo credit: BBC)

what bill belichick can teach us about decision-making

Alright, alright.  So Bill Belichick didn't punt against the Colts and it lost the Patriots the game.   Scott Anthony wrote about this over at Harvard Business today, and for those who missed the game, here's his recap:

The New England Patriots led the Indianapolis Colts by six points with two minutes to go. It was fourth down, the ball was on the New England 28 yard line, and the Patriots needed just two yards for a first down that would almost certainly have sealed a victory. Conventional wisdom called for a punt, but Coach Belichick decided to go for it. After the Patriots fell just short of the first down, the Colts marched into the end zone and won the game.

Suddenly, there's a whirlwind of debate amongst the pundits, including how statistically speaking, the Patriots had a better chance of winning the game by 'going for it' and not punting.  It didn't work out that way in this instance, but repeating the same scenario again and again, it would work more often than it wouldn't.

Other Factors

But while some want to break down Belichick's decision into being all about the numbers, there are other variables and human factors to consider.  Decision-making doesn't just come down to stats, in football, in business, or in life.   

1)  You need to know what condition you (and your team) is in (and what they're capable of in that moment) - What was the chance that Manning, who had thrown two interceptions that night, would get the Colts all the way back down the field for a touchdown in two minutes if they punted?  There's probably a stat for that, but the Patriots defense was also tired. On another day, they might have been stronger in the same situation.  But everyone has an off day, so you not only need to know what shape you and your people are in, you need to know when someone's having an off day and what they're capable of in the particular moment.       

2)  Take a moment to consider different possible outcomes -  What if the Patriots had made the two yards?  They'd have likely sealed up the win.  (And Belichick would have been heralded for having the guts to make the play.)  If they punted, would the Colts have made it all the way back down the field?  (It's possible.  We've seen it happen before.)  If they failed to convert, the Colts would have had the ball at about the Patriots 30-yard line, and what would be the possibility of them making it down the field from there?  Any decision we make has more than one possible outcome.  You make the pitch and you make the sale.  Or you don't.  Or someone comes back and wants to negotiate.  What are all the possible outcomes of a decision and which ones are you prepared for? 

3)  Don't forget other factors like time (and pressure) - Especially when we look back on a decision we've made, we tend to underestimate the effects the amount of time we had to make that decision or the pressure we may have felt at the time had on the decision we ultimately made.  Take note and take that under consideration next time.

Second-Guessing Will Drive You Crazy

It's easy to crunch the numbers when you have all day to do it after the decision doesn't bring the desired result.  And sure.  You want to take a look back and learn from your mistakes.  But we do this all the time -- in life and in business.  We have a certain amount of information.  We only know what we know at that moment.  And we make a decision.  Unfortunately, there are times when we make what is a good decision at the time, but it still doesn't turn out the way we want it to. That's just life.  Risk brings reward.  It's also called a 'risk' for a reason.  

 No Guts, No Glory

Do I hope that anytime the Patriots get into that situation again they'll punt?  Nope. I like that they went for it.  But that's me.  It's easy to say 'he should have made the safe choice', but safe choices aren't always the way to go.  You don't get to four Superbowls and win three of them by always playing it safe.  And if you want to live a life half-lived, if you want to keep your business where it is, sure.....play it safe every time.  You'll be guaranteed the same results you've been getting.    

Besides, when it comes down to it, your career, your business, your life is about the long haul.  It's made up of a series of choices, a series of plays.  You win some.  You lose some. You make the best decision based on what you know in the moment.  You deal with the outcome.  And when you lose?  You learn, you get stronger, and you just go on to play another day.  So make the best decision you can and just go for it already.   

All the best!

deb

3 Key Qualities for Success

If you listened to the interview with Jay Maisel, he was asked what character qualities he thought it was necessary to nurture to be a successful photographer.  His answer applies to success in creating your business -- or your career.

The answer?

1)  Enthusiasm

2)  Curiosity

3)  A Strong Work Ethic

If you're passionate about what you do, commit to continuing to learn all you can about what you do, and work hard, you're a step ahead of most people already.

Sounds fairly simple, doesn't it?  Maybe that's because it is.

Do what you're good at, keep getting better at it - and do those things other people aren't willing to do.

All the best!

deb

P.S.  If you're employed & looking for the next move, unemployed, or a recent grad, download this $9.99  25-page eBook on conducting your job search that will tell you what you need to do while you're looking, how to establish your expertise, and even get tips on how to get your foot in the door that most people won't try - putting you a step above the rest.

looking for a job: informational interviews

They say unemployment is at 10.2%.  That's bad enough, until you consider that the true number, especially when including the under-employed numbers, is potentially much higher.  So maybe you're one of the unemployed or a recent graduate out there looking for a job.  And maybe you're feeling the frustration because you're getting so few bites.  

Here's the thing.

Most Jobs Aren't Advertised

You aren't going to find most jobs in the ads or on the job boards.  In fact, even when the economy is good, as many as 70-80% of available positions are filled through referral.  That's right.  They're filled by networking.  And that's when the economy is good.  That number is probably much higher right now.

But maybe you haven't built up your network, or if you're a new grad you haven't had time to do that yet.  There's still something you can do that most people won't that can help you get noticed.

The Tip

It's the informational interview, or meetings with successful professionals to learn more about what they do, what their company does, how they do it, and ask for advice on how to move forward with your own career.

You may think that people wouldn't have the time or would turn you down, but the truth is that most people like talking about themselves.  And most people are happy to help when and how they can.

The Trick (or How It's Done)

To begin, identify companies who you'd like to work for, that do the work you want to do, and that have the reputation of offering the types of challenging work assignments and environment you're looking for.  Don't worry about whether this company is hiring at the moment or not.  That's not the point.  

Be resourceful seeking out companies and names of individuals you might speak to.  Ask everyone you know.  Use the internet, including Linked In. 

Next up, the introduction.  Call, send an email, or yes...even an old-fashioned letter.  Remember that this person's time is probably limited so make it as brief as possible.  Give a bit of your background, your goals, interests and what you hope to gain from the interview.  Be clear you're seeking information, or advice, and not a job. 

Ask for 20-30 minutes of the person's time, and if you can meet at their office.  (Lunch or coffee is fine, but you'll learn even more about an organization if you can see the environment.)

Prepare.  Be sure you've done your due diligence and thoroughly researched the organization.  Go with a list of open-ended questions prepared.  Dress appropriately.  

Focus on keeping the 'interview' conversational.  You're not asking for a job here.  Don't be too stiff.  Don't be nervous.  You're just talking here.  If the person you're interviewing goes 'off-script' from the questions you've prepared, let the conversation go there.  After all, this is an informational interview and intended to build rapport.  Let the conversation flow as naturally as possible.

When wrapping up, ask if there are other professionals this person would recommend you talk to.

After the interview, send an email thanking them for their time, and listing a couple of specific details about the information or advice you gained from the meeting.  Then keep them updated on your progress in your career.

You Never Know

This person might have a job and consider you down the road.  Or they may hear of something and think of you and make the referral.  I've done informational interviews and the person ended up being a friend.  I've done them and we've ended up working on projects together.  And I've done them, and it led to a great opportunity.  

Regardless, an informational interview not only gives you the opportunity to expand your network, but to gain more inside industry knowledge, and to practice your presentation, interviewing, and relational skills.  Plus, it's an underutilized approach so it makes you stand out from the crowd.  

If you're looking for a job, don't be passive.  Start doing the research and set a goal for the number of informational interviews you'll have set up by the end of this week.

All the best!

deb

generosity in business

Carolyn Kepcher posted at Work Her Way today about generosity in business.  She's right.  People don't often think about the two being synonymous.  But just like Carolyn, I've witnessed many acts of generosity within business.

Everything from business-owners like Josh, who I wrote about earlier this week, supporting a local major employer and helping them keep going (and from laying people off), to people who have achieved success in business being willing to mentor others.

I, personally, have been encouraged by my fellow business-owners (and friends) who have been so generous in supporting my friend's drive to raise $20,000 for the SEVA Challenge.  (We still have a way to go, so you can see details and donate here.)

Understandably, charitable organizations are experiencing decreases in donations, primarily due to the recession.  So as you begin to think about the holiday season, identify ways you can help.  Maybe it's a donation.  Maybe it's volunteering your time.  (There are plenty of opportunities in your local area, I promise.)  Keep those opportunities in mind and make the time to give to others through the holidays.

 If you're unemployed at the moment?  Consider giving your time to a local charity.  The longer you're unemployed, the more difficult it can be to get back into a work routine and back into the swing of things.  Take part of your week to create a routine that will make the transition back to the work world easier by 'creating a job' through volunteering.

And then encourage others to do the same.  After all, it just takes a lot of people each doing their own small part.

All the best!

deb

anything is possible, everything is not

Anything is possible.

I believe it.  Do you?  

Anything is possible.  Look around at the accomplishments and achievements of others.  We can all think of examples of people who came from humble circumstances to achieve greatness.

 It might take work.  It might take time.  Things don't happen magically and they don't happen overnight.  But anything is possible.

Everything, though, is not.  

As I work with clients in keeping their edge in their lives and businesses, one of the biggest problems I see is fear of making a choice.  People are often afraid to make a decision. 

We're afraid that once we make a decision, we're stuck there for life.  We put so much pressure on making the right decision that we don't decide at all.  

Think of a river.  It simply flows.   It can be powerful and dangerous or it can be smooth and tranquil.  But it flows, and moves forward naturally.  When we know what our goals are and what direction we want our life and our businesses to head in, it's much like that river.  

That river has banks.  It has boundaries.  Without them, the river would have no direction at all.  It wouldn't even be a river.  It would be a pool of water running off in many directions until it dispersed so far that it no longer existed.

The choices and decisions we make are like the banks of the river.  It's what gives us direction.  And just like a river might have a bend or two, we can change those decisions later as circumstances change or as we gain more information.

Everything is not possible, but anything is.  It starts by making the decision.

All the best!

deb  

P.S.  Help me celebrate the launch of Work Her Way

P.P.S  Give 10.  Pay it forward & pass it on.  Help thousands of kids today.  (Thanks to all of those who have been so generous this far.  Let's keep it going!  With everyone pulling together and doing their small part, we can get this thing done!)

well-behaved women can make history

A couple of weeks ago, Naomi wrote about an email she received from a woman regarding a marketing email she’d sent out.  And it got me to thinking, have we come a long way, baby?  How much farther do we have to go?  And where is that glass ceiling now?

Back in the Day

Once upon a time, women were expected to look like something straight out of Mad Men and either be a stay at home mom or work in the steno pool.  Increasing frustration led women to begin to do what they had to do to begin climbing up corporate ladders and build lives they way they defined them.  Women at the forefront of that fight got loud.  They got brash sometimes.  They clawed their way into the boardroom.  They had to.  And I’m grateful to them for doing the work they did.

Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History

Boy, we loved that book, didn’t we?  And grabbed on to the quote.  The idea was supposed to be that women could be free to choose how they wanted to build their lives.  What we did for quite some time, though, was change definitions.  Going into the workforce, women started to be told that to be successful, we had to act like men.

So we did.  Still, we had to change ourselves to fit this new model.  

But it had to be done in order to move the cause forward.

President and CEO

Then a crazy thing happened.  Suddenly, women were CEOs.  Good ones, at that.  And now, it doesn’t seem so far out of reach to consider that a woman could, indeed, be President.  

But things still aren’t perfect.  There is still discrimination in the workforce and women still make less than men on the dollar.  (If you truly wonder about this, try working in the automotive industry as a woman, as I did.)  The dry cleaners still charge us more.  Some men still think women can’t be serious in business or need to be pampered and protected at home.  

There is still work to be done, but somewhere along the way, we changed our strategy.

The New View

Sure.  There are still men out there who think women can’t hack it.  They are the guys who still keep chasing younger and younger women the older they get.  But now?  We let them.  We let them do their thing while we move on to something better.  

Now?  There’s a gound-swell of women who decided they could be feminine, by their definition of the term, and still be strong business women, leaders in their communities, all while being good moms, friends, and family members.  

We make up 50.7% of the population and make 82% of the buying decisions.  (And in car buying decisions?  95% of women have veto power over that car the guy has been looking at.)

Sure.  Marcus Buckingham is telling us that women are unhappier than ever faced with all these choices.  But that's not what I see.  (Then again, that could just be a symptom of the women that I know personally.)

I see women who stopped fighting.   They stopped trying to be like men or beat them at their own game.  

They stopped trying to fight up the corporate ladder and shatter the traditional corporate ceiling.  

They stopped waiting to be liberated by others and liberated themselves.  

They stopped banging down doors and started forging new paths.  

They started being ‘full of themselves’ and defining what a good life looked like for them and started living it.  And the men?  The men lucky enough to be around these women have learned that what Marianne Williamson says is true.  That  “as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Bright Future Ahead

Now, if a woman isn't being successful, as she defines it, it has more to do with her holding herself back.  It has more to do with the difference in approach.  (As Naomi pointed out, there is a difference between the way men and women approach business.  Men tend to ask 'how can I make this work', while women question themselves and their idea asking questions like 'will this work at all?')  

But I see us continuing to head this direction.  To continue forging our own paths - together. And I think that’s the best way to go from here. 

We can be well-behaved if we want to.  After all, our deepest power doesn’t come when we’re breaking down doors.  It comes when we speak our truth with dignity and grace, having finally given ourselves permission to own who we are and to own our truth. 

The greatest part?  We finally get to define what ‘well-behaved’ means for ourselves.  We also get to define what it means to ‘make history’, even if only in our small part of the world.  

We finally get to choose.  

All the best!

deb

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P.S.  Find out how to create your own path and get what you really want here.

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chasing greatness

Most of us are trying.  Most of us are trying really hard.  We’re trying to be great.  We’re trying too hard.  (For a great story on trying too hard, check out this one at Rat Race Trap.)  

Our ego is trying to prove to that part of us that we’ve hidden, to others, and the world, that we’re all wrong.  Your ego is right.  We’re trying to prove that we really are together, that we really are great.

We chase happiness, attention, love, success, money, all in an attempt to fill up something we think we lack.

You Complete Me

We’re playing the ‘I’ll be happy when.....’ game.  “I’ll be happy when I lose the weight.” “I’ll be happy when I get the promotion.”  “I’ll be happy when I get the money, the house, the car, the stuff.”  “I’ll be happy when I find that person who completes me.”

But since there is part of us that thinks we’re lacking something, since there are parts of us or are story that we’re denying, we’re fishing in shallow waters.

Even during the times when we manage to look like we’ve got it together on the surface, we’re not deeply authentic and accepting all of who we are.  So we’re not engaging in authentic deeply meaningful ways, so the relationship and success and happiness we’re using to fill that hole inside isn’t deep or authentic either.    

No One Is Coming To Rescue You

We get the thing we think will fulfill us.  And then we find we want more.  We want more of the same thing.  Or now, since that didn’t work, we want something else.

We got the relationship, and we’re still feeling that lack in our soul, so we go for career success.  We get the job we want, and still feel that lack, so we decide having kids will do it.  When that doesn’t work, we decide it’s time to get in shape.  

We’re designed to be whole.  So we’ll keep searching.  We’ll keep searching, until we finally have to admit that it’s not working.  

Not only is it not working, not only are the patterns still repeating, but now we have to realize that all that external stuff is not going to save us.  

Your parents, a mentor, the love of your life, your kids, and your friends are not going to save you.  The job, the money, the car, the house, the stuff, the perfect body, will not save you.  

Great News

This is great news.  This means it really is all up to you.  And that means you can change it.  That means, you can do something about it.  

It’s time to relax.  It’s time to stop.  It’s time to stop chasing external circumstances that aren’t going to ‘fix’ you.  It’s time to stop doing battle with whatever it is we’ve been struggling with -- our careers, our relationships, our finances losing that 20 pounds we want to lose, whatever it is that keeps coming back up in our lives -- we don’t have to fight it.  

We can stop, find the underlying theme and our core beliefs that have been at play, find the good parts in our stories, and find forgiveness.

Then we can move on and move forward.  Then we’re free to stop sleepwalking through our lives and being run by the thing we’re avoiding, and the frustrating repeating patterns, and go out and make empowered, conscious choices to create your life.  

You Are Already Great

Here’s the cosmic joke.  You’ve been trying so hard to chase greatness.  You don’t need to chase greatness.  You are already great.  There’s just a bit of work to be done so that you can reclaim that greatness, find what you are meant to be and do in the world, and then go out and do just that.

What have you been chasing?

Are you ready to stop?

Are you ready to remember how great you are?

All the best!

deb

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the number one word that will kill your goals & dreams

Whatever it is, wherever you're blocked in your life.  If you know where you want to go or if you've forgotten what you love.  If you've lost the zing and aren't in the zone.  There is one word that will keep you right where you are - forever.

That word?

Tomorrow.

We tell ourselves we've found the right thing.  Or we know what to do.  We know it's time to take that workshop.  We know it's time to workout and start eating right.  We know it's time to start retraining so we can do that thing we love.  We know it's time to move on.  

And then we stay in our comfort zone, telling ourselves that we'll start....tomorrow.

But tomorrow never comes.  

All you've got is today.

What can you do today, even small steps, to start living an extraordinary life?

All the best!

deb

P.S.  The course start Monday.  I'm just sayin'.  Might be time to get off the fence and sign up.  ;-)