palin, the media, sexism, and questions HR can ask in an interview

i told myself that i'd lay off the politics before this became a full-fledged political blog.  but i want to post this before sarah palin actually speaks tonight and before we learn more about her.  but the truth is that this post isn't about politics.  and so i'd ask as you read it to lay aside political beliefs.  but in the fairness of absolute disclosure, and i know this isn't a shock to regular readers, i am one of those hillary supporters they keep talking about.

now, my first thought about her was that she looked like karen walker from will & grace.  my 2nd thought was, "huh.  pro-life."  beyond that, we know little about her thus far.  and yet the media seems to have had plenty to report.

i've been damned angry for a good couple of days now.  mostly, i've been upset with the media, the pundits, and even irresponsible bloggers.  i am all for reporting the truth (as much as we can actually find out the truth).  i am all for vigorous debates about experience, qualifications, leadership qualities, and even like-ability.  i'm even all for sharing opinions (i'm a blogger, after all).  but that is not what the majority of media (or people in general, and some bloggers) have been talking about.  no.  instead, there is talk about whether she was really pregnant with her last child.  there is heat being thrown at a 17 year old girl.  and there is a lot of talk about whether she can be a good mother while working (as V.P.).  

and yes, i see a difference between that us weekly cover and michelle obama's cover.  then again, if you're making your decision on who to vote for for President based on us weekly, i really kind of hope you just don't vote.

not only are some questions that are being asked in the media questions one would not ask of a male candidate, some of these questions would be illegal in a job interview!  how many of you HR folks out there regularly ask women if they're single, if they have children, and if they do....how they plan to be a good mother while working for you?  sure.  there are certain things that might come out in a background check.  but a woman's daughter being pregnant is not one of them.  whether a working woman is a good mother is not one of them.

one thing that has been interesting is watching the media quickly defending itself, saying they are "just asking the questions" and the pundits then answer.  but asking "what about what people are asking....can she be a good mother while being vice-president?" just perpetuates it.  and you know it.  

but guess what has angered me most of all?  what has angered me most is watching as men ask about qualifications and a female "expert" or reporter or politician comes back with "that's sexist."  no.  it's not.  

yes.  there is plenty of sexism out there in the world.  i, of course, have experienced it myself.  but let's not be hasty to use the word.  let's not hurl the accusation unless it's true.  (for myself, i've been very cautious when calling out sexism.  and in fact, never did at work until recently.  because most times, i find, that just proving "them" wrong is the best way to go.)  

in a year when we've almost nominated our first female president and the first woman for the republican party is about to be nominated for vice-president, could we as women manage to tear each other apart on the issues and not use 'sexism' as a convenient argument?  

as for the media...yes.  tabloid media had the john edwards story long before "respectable media" broke the story.  but does that mean that every rumor will now be covered and repeated over and over again in order to "be the first"?  that's irresponsible.  and while we all understand that being truly un-biased is truly difficult, and we've come to expect it less, at least not reporting rumors and engaging in sexism because you have no other talking points is not acceptable.

let's focus on the candidates and the issues.

a candidate's children are absolutely off-limits.  and either being sexist or using it as an argument when you have no real argument to debate with will probably result in a backlash you don't really want anyway.

all the best!

deb

Comments

[Evil HR Lady]

I was wondering who she looked like and you are right--it's Karen from Will and Grace!

I totally agree with you--all these things would be illegal in an interview. And furthermore, while I think she's crazy to WANT to do this, I think all men are crazy to want to run for Pres/VP as well. I mean, who would want that job? Well, the private jet rides are nice, but the hours, the responsibility! Oy.

Of course, I'm freaking out that I have to go back to work tomorrow after a 16 week maternity leave. And I'm working from home, have a babysitter in my house and only work part time.

I am not shattering any glass ceilings any time soon. :>)

[deb]

evil, she also looks like tina fey (i keep wondering which one SNL will score to play her on saturday nights! ha)

i'm not sure why anyone would want to run for office given what they have to go through to get there. i'm fairly certain it keeps good people who would serve out of the process.

and you may not be shattering glass ceilings, but you're still trail-blazing.....helping define and move flexible work forward!

i mean, that's really the idea right?
there are many ways to go about it all. and different things work for different people. everyone should be able to make their own private choices and do what works for them, yeah? (well....within reason....ha)

all the best!
deb

[The Good Witch of the South]

I just don't understand why anyone would place themselves or their family through all this for something that really pays so little compared to what most could make in the business community. I know that after they are in office they make considerable from speeches, memoirs, etc., but if she loses, she'll be fine but her daughter is going to have this thrown up in her face for the rest of her life because people are so cruel and want to make themselves feel superior.

[deb]

good witch,
yes. people can be cruel, especially when it seems so far away and people we don't really know, huh?

and yeah. teenage pregnancy happens here in high numbers. (i heard someone throw the number 3 million a year in the country out there, but i haven't verified it.) i wasn't aware we were supposed to take them to the town square and flog them.

what families don't have problems?
what about compassion?

all the best!
(love you mom!)
deb

[Brennan]

have you seen this?

http://lolpalin.wordpress.com/

its like a lolcats sarah palin mashup

[lolpalin]

Or this? http://lolpalin.blogspot.com/
Or that? http://lolpalins.wordpress.com/
Ot the other? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-W5IAPK0hbU

[Sherri]

My goodness what a post. I wish I could watch you at the debates!

[Tom Volkar / Delightful Work]

I'm an Obama supporter and when I listened to Palin last night I was inspired. Unlike the Gore/Bush race we actually have a choice of two excellent tickets this time around. I prefer to be appreciative of the progress we've made by having both a woman and an African-American running this year. It's amazing. The USA is really in fine shape if we concentrate on what's good about this and decide to not allow the media to rile us up.

[Wally Bock]

I wasn't going to post here because I felt like I didn't have much to say besides, Brava! Deb, I think you hit all the important points.

Then I realized that there were things that have been punching my anger button that Deb didn't mention. They go back to being my mother's son.

My father was a Lutheran pastor, so my mother was the pastor's wife. In the time that she married my father that was a role she was expected to fill. She didn't always meet expectations.

I remember when she told the women of the church that she would not be the President of the Ladies' Aid. Scandal. She wore pants. More scandal. When they moved to the city, she set out on a career. Even more scandal. She would not allow you to address her (or an invitation to her) as Mrs. Walter Bock. "My name is not Walter," she would tell offenders, "it's Natalie."

I was always proud of my mother, proud of her strength and her willingness to take a stand. Proud of her ability to carve out a career in the advertising world of the fifties. "Mad Men" has that about right.

It took me much longer to understand how proud I should be of my father. Throughout their life together when he was in the parish, he caught grief from church councils and individual members for "letting" his wife act the way she did. But he always supported her and took every bit of the nastiness that small-minded people can dole out and never, ever, asked her to do anything that would make his life easier at the sacrifice of her spirit.

I wasn't surprised by how the media have treated Governor Palin. I think Deb hit the important issues there. But I know this. If she is going to be everything that she can be, her husband, Todd needs to be behind her. I don't think he's gotten credit for that yet. I wonder if he will.

[deb]

great point, wally.

i too am a p.k.
yep folks, that makes the good witch of the south a preacher's wife like wally's mom.

and wally's story reminded me of my mom.
first off, my dad wasn't a preacher when they married or for some time after....so this wasn't really something she signed up for. but she still supported him.

however, she was expected to basically be a 'assistant pastor'....and minister to women...and teach sunday school.

i can't tell you how many times i heard her say, "they hired him, not me."

and with one short exception in time, she's always worked. she's also been an entrepreneur (along with my dad, they had a shop once in one of the towns we lived in along the way.)

and as much as i hate to admit it (and if you know me personally, you know why)....i guess it runs in mom's family. her mother always worked, as did her mother before her.

my mom has always known who she is, has learned and grown throughout the years, but in my perception....also never let others define who she was or how she was supposed to be as a wife, an employee, or a mother.

and dr. dad supported that.

wally....i, like you, took a long time to appreciate some things. in my case, being a 'daddy's girl'....that appreciation came late with my mother.

i didn't realize that it was different for her to work. then again, i didn't realize how much my parents worked together to make everything work (dr. dad moved his office to a home office when i was in high school and used to start dinner every night....chicken with brocolli and cauliflower....every night he cooked. which probably explains why that meal makes me cringe even now. ha!)

i've seen the good witch work 'out in the world', i've watched her define her own role despite expectations as a preacher's wife. and i've seen dr. dad vacuum. mostly, i have a great example of them working together.....and they always had us in mind and did do the best they could. (they were especially challenged with a stubborn and rebellious soul like mine...ha....they might have lucked out a little more with my brother. but that also makes me feel compassion for palin and whatever people want to say of her daughter's behavior. because teenagers often do what they do, despite the best efforts of the parents. it's how parents respond, hopefully being loving and supportive, that seems to make the most impact.)

i wasn't just raised to think for myself or to see myself as having choices, as a woman, in the world. my mother actually set the example.

thanks, as always, for the comment, wally.
and thanks, good witch.
;-)

all the best!
deb

[The Good Witch of the South]

Thank you for the compliments but let's not get all sappy! You know that one reason I went to work was to get away from the "brethren". If I wasn't available, I didn't have to get involved in all their problems. I came to that realization early on after one particular telephone call when one of the ladies of the congregation called to let me know that "they had checked out my husband and he came from good "stock". I thought, what they brand you like cattle around here. Then I thought, they better not go looking into my closet! I knew then that I needed to find something to do for myself.

[Wally Bock]

Broccoli? My mother was the master of tuna-noodle casserole. She actually was an awful cook. Perhaps that's why the term "home cooking" doesn't have the allure for me that it does for others. But she was also a great writer and a wise and strong woman.

[David]

I loved your post. I think your ideas and comments on it are good.

I have to say though, your inability and/or unwillingness to use capital letters and apostrophes turned me off and I almost stopped reading after the first couple of sentences.

I'm glad I continued.

[angel]

Thank you for pointing out who Palin looks like - I've been driving myself crazy trying to figure it out.

Hope all is well!...