how sensitive should HR be?

kris dunn began his post on using the f* bomb at work with the statement, "i don't think i'm the sensitive type." ironically, i had someone joking around in my office just this week about some things and he said, "i thought HR was supposed to be sensitve!" (he was laughing at the time, just to be clear.) i told him he'd come to the wrong HR office if that was what he was looking for. in other words, i never considered myself a sensitive person either.

how sensitive should HR be? if you come to my office and i have 15 things on my plate (which i always do) and i have a meeting in 5 minutes (which always seems to be the case), i don't have time to sit for an hour to listen to your tale of woe about how you think the shoes you're wearing should be allowable on the floor despite the policy on appropriate footwear being clear. i just don't. get some other shoes and get over it. okay. maybe i'm exaggerating here, but you get the point.

come to me with a real problem. one where you have something going on in your life, one where you feel you're being treated unfairly, and i'm there. if you're trying to deal with things in the right way, i'm there. i'll drop everything for your problem right now. i'll investigate and not just take your supervisors word against yours. i'll try to help everyone in your department get along. i'll do my utmost. i promise. i really do care. and i'll listen and i'll do what i can to help.

but if you're one of those people who just seem to like to complain all the time, if you're one of those people who like to stir up drama because (apparently) you don't have enough to do, i don't really have time. my entire day every day could consist of nothing more than listening to people gripe about little things their cubicle mate does to annoy them.

i know other HR people who are easy targets and people know this. people know that if they come in with a sob story and then ask for something no one else gets, there's a chance they'll get it. why? because HR cares. HR is sensitive.

but here's the deal. i not only care about you, i care about the whole. i care about the organization. if we cater to each and every individual, we'll never get anything done. so we do the best we can. if you're truly feeling discriminated against, i'll listen and i'll take it seriously and i'll investigate. but if i do all that and find nothing and you're in my office again and again screaming about how unfair it all is, and i find out that the 'unfair thing' you're all up in arms about is that your supervisor spoke to you about consistently being late? there will come a point when i will tell you to get out of my office. and i will not feel bad about it.

do people consider me sensitive? ask the person who went out on worker's comp who i worked extra hard for to get our group to look back at her history so she got paid more. ask the person who came to me about a deeply personal issue, which had nothing to do with work at all, who i called over the weekend to check in on. the thing is, those things happen between me and that employee. i don't make a big deal of it, and neither do they. that's what happens when you're motives are right. (it's also what happens when you're not sensitive and don't really care so much about what people think.)

the problem is that it's the person who comes in about their shoes, who i tell point blank that i've got a meeting to go to and they should get other shoes. that's the person who will run all over the building talking about how HR wouldn't even take the time to listen. and that's fine. i can take it.

i'm not sure ultra sensitive types are really made for HR. HR gets a lot of things hurled at them. we have to be tough. we have to say the things that other managers and supervisors don't want to say. we have to say no a lot. we have to fire people.

it's a balancing act to be sure. some sensitivity should be required. but at some point, there is such a thing as being too sensitive.

and by the way, if you want to drop the f** bomb while complaining about how unfair it is that you have to change your shoes, i'm like kris...i'm cool with it. just don't direct it at me. if you do, you might just find out how insensitive i can be.

all the best!
deb